Naruto: World Gone Loco
by Uzumaki-sama011
Summary: Naruto was prophesized to save the world. Nobody bothered to tell him this would include other worlds beside his own. (This will be continued once NTL: Milky Way Heiress is done)
1. Loco

The second battle at the Valley of the End, a place that stood as a monument to the final clash of swords, jutsus and beliefs between one Uchiha Madara - an exiled member of the Legendary Uchiha Clan and Senju Hashirama - the clan leader of the Senju Clan of the Forest, was coming to a close. Thunder boomed across the skies violently as it poured down around them, giving the battle a trumpet of drums to fill in the beat between the clashes of of fists and explosions.

The place where the two of the last descendants of one Rikkudo Sennin, the original Kami no Shinobi fought was changed forever, a fate that seemed to repeat itself at the place very often. Where there once was a lush forest filled with life now only lay a dozen miles long trench, a bare dug in the Earth that would remain as a scar of the battle for ages to come.

Both Naruto and Sasuke were aware of the fact that they only had enough chakra in them to perform one last attack before they collapsed, exhaustion finally taking its toll on their abused and over pushed bodies.

Days of fighting against hordes of White Zetsu, Edo Tensei-ed ninjas from genin to Kage, whacko Uchihas on power trips gone insane and kami-leveled opponents that could be considered as primordial beings on Naruto's front, plus having no time to acclimate to the sudden boosts in power and an array of other things have finally run his fuel dry.

Sasuke... well he too did some fighting... in the end.

The clash to determine the fate of the world between the two friends had been hard, bitter and merciless. It had started with two, for all intents and purposes, normal looking teens with stubbornness being their middle names duking it out like any ninjas would do these day, but then it had quickly escalated into a clash of titans; one a big armored tengu/samurai glowing a heinous purple with wings on its back and swords of black fire, the other a humongous nine tailed fox of yellow power, black sealing lines running across its body radiating the power of life.

Bijūdamas, Rasenshurikens and Gudōdamas clashed against Indra's Arrows, Yasaka Magatamas and Yin-chakra enhanced Chidori Senbon.

Neither Naruto nor Sasuke would last longer then a few minutes at most, and both of them knew it.

"I guess this is it Naruto, one last attack to see who's right?"

Naruto glared at his best friend. "I'm going to kick your ungrateful ass Sasuke!"

Sasuke responded with a ..."Hn.." - Uchiha™

Both of these demigod shinobi held out their hands on their sides, charging their attacks with the last drops of their powers.

A perfect golden sphere of compressed power, oozing of Yang energy, appeared in Naruto's right hand.

A screeching, sparkling blade of purple lighting, Yin energy its main component, came to life around Sasuke's left hand.

On some unsaid signal, without a single word needing to be spoken between them, the last Uchiha and one of the last Uzumaki rushed at each other, intending to end their dispute once and for all.

"Chidori (One Thousand Birds)!" Sasuke cried out as he flew downwards from his elevated height, like a hawk swooping down on his prey.

"Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)!" Naruto echoed his cry as he vanished from sight in a last burst of speed, rising up to the challenge.

Their signature attacks clashed together in the exacts same spot they did all those years ago, tearing against the fabric of space once more. The result of the Sage's two counterparts clashing together was something that nobody else could have expected or reproduced, for the two ninjas were special. At first the two powers seemed to be fighting for dominance between one another, their respective owners pushing every last bit of their power into them, but then they merged together, forming what an outsider would have described in layman terms as a giant purple orb of destruction that steadily grew and grew.

And grew.

And grew!

And then... it grew some fucking more!

Inside the orb that was steadily expanding and destroying the world around them, Naruto and Sasuke were suddenly floating in an empty space facing each other, their respective hands holding their attacks as they fought. For a single long timeless second, both of them were simply too baffled to do anything other then stare in the other's eyes, but then they realized that now would probably be their last exchange of blows, before whatever the hell was going on decided to end their lives.

With a last shout of effort, the world around them exploded brightly.

**Naruto: World Gone Loco**

Naruto didn't want to wake up from his slumber at first but the continuous assault of some stray sunrays hitting him directly in the face would not be denied and eventually the rising sun had managed to wake the boy up.

In his morning, delirious-like state, Naruto didn't recall the events of the day prior at first, but even then he was conscious enough to realize that he didn't remember going to bed recently.

...and then it all hit him.

The last thing he could remember was actually… his death.

'_Is this what Kakashi-sensei said would fall into the category of getting lost on the road of life?' _Funny, because even though this thought should have shocked him to death (had he been alive... that doesn't make sense though...?), it actually allowed the blonde haired mayhem to, for once, remain calm and collected in a strange new situation. He had traveled back in time, slipped into a parallel dimension based off on his and Sakura's inner most desires, meet the ghost of his mother, fought alongside his zombie Dad, faced off against opponents that held the tittle of god, so he was steadily growing used to all things crazy and whacky happening to him.

He even tried tried making some stupid jokes in his head about it.

And to be honest, if this was what being dead meant, than Naruto wouldn't mind staying in this state a little while longer. Still keeping his eyes closed, he tried to take in his surroundings with his other senses. His sensory skills came back to him first, allowing Naruto to reach out and sense a strangely familiarly warm source of chakra not too far from him, though he couldn't really pinpoint its location yet in his state.

He could sense a lot more chakra signatures around him though, all of them radiating a feeling of calm and flowing normally and soothingly, unlike what it felt like when he was on a battlefield.

His other senses told him that he was located in a bed, his head down on a pillow and the rest of his body covered by a blanket.

The mattress beneath him was just a little too worn to be comfortable but it was bearable and surprisingly familiar.. again.

Then, Naruto moved his hand around and realized that in his dead/sleep/unconscious state he had clung to a back of a person and his left hand was located at the front of said person, touching… well he wasn't an exactly expert when it came to this things but he would have to say he was groping someone's breasts, perky breasts too.

He moved his fingers around a bit, squeezing and trying to confirm his deductions when suddenly the body he was clinging to moved and the owner let slip a confused "Ehh?..." out of her mouth.

Naruto quickly opened his eyes lest the situation escalate out of control, knowing from experience how every time he groped someone unintentionally he ended up with a big lump on his head and sprawled out on the floor. And the very first thing he saw when he did so were two bright blue eyes a few inches away from his face, the girl who's bed he was in sleepily looking at him through half-lidded eyes.

Then the sleepily expression turned into one of surprise and confusion.

And his face showed probably the same as two thoughts ran through his head.

How did he manage to get into a totally stranger's bed?

Why did strange shit like this always happen to him?

**Naruto: World Gone Loco**

Then Naruto realized where his left hand was still located and what it was doing. His eyes locked with the girls own for a moment that felt like a forever as his mouth slowly hung open. The girl's face quickly turned red as a tomato and she started to look whiny as he lay there, his hand on her breast in a way that he was sure his sensei would have been proud of, the rest of him frozen like a statue in the halls of a daimyo or something.

She tried to push herself away from him, but she was blocked by his right arm in the process. It was still clung around her.

Naruto managed to find his voice in the awkward situation.

"Um... please wait and don't try kill me please, I think I can totally expl..." the blonde haired Child of Prophecy tried to calm the girl down before she looped his head off, but he was suddenly interrupted by her sudden attack directed at his eardrums.

"KYAAAAAAAA!"

Followed by a shout of...

"PERVERT!"

And Naruto left the land of the conscious once more as a fist that he was fully expecting to come made contact with his whiskered face.

His last thought was...

'_Why the hell does she look like my Sexy Jutsu?_'


	2. Insane

"Dammit, I told you already that I don't know how I ended up in your bed lady so would you please for Kami's sake stop hitting me?!" the latest incarnation of Ōtsutsuki Asura asked as he argued with his 'Orioke no Jutsu' technique made flesh, something which he was sure of (and he had no doubts about this one, none at all) would have caused his late godfather and ninja master to die out of sheer bloodloss... had he been alive to witness it.

The girl audibly huffed, retracting her fist from where she was laying the beat down on the 'Pervert' and Naruto finally managed to get a better look at her while lowering down his guard. Since he didn't know her name yet he was dubbing her with the same name that Jiraiya-sensei had dubbed his transformation, since it looked like the two were one and the same.

Naruko was... - correction - _is_ a pure bombshell of a hot, gorgeous, sexy & alluring all wrapped up into a kunoichi package... and this chick right here looked just like Naruko did, hands down and cross his heart. She had the twin silky pigtails reaching down her back, the very same tanned skin tone, the same glittering blue eyes, the same heart shaped face, the same long slender legs... heck everything that he could see was the same with this girl as it was with his first jutsu.

Even down to her breast size, something which he now knew from the impromptu groping session minutes before.

"Serves you right asshole, breaking and entering into my home you Pervert!"

"I told you already that I don't know how I ended up in your bed! Goddammit woman! Your punches hurt almost as much as Sakura-chan's do!" The gennin with the powers of all the tailed beasts complained as gingerly nursed the large fist bumps on his head, throwing up a fuss despite knowing perfectly well that sooner or latter his enhanced healing would kick in and that he would be looking as good as new very shortly.

The 'Naruko' (again, he didn't know her name yet so he was sticking with that one. It was better then 'Sexy Me') stood in the same room as him, thankfully (or not?) fully dressed this time, her fists planted on the sides against her sexy hips. The blonde haired girl was glaring down at him just like he could remember his own mother doing once in that alternate universe thing... come to think of it, her face had the same expression as Kaa-chan's did when angry.

Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts and observations between the similarities of Naruko to his mother by the girl's sarcastic, scathing response. Which was more of a question without an answer really.

"And I'm supposed to believe this? How stupid do you think I am?" she looked at him with un-hidden dislike, her whole demeanor aggressive and ready to jump at him... and not in a good way mind you. Naruto looked up at her dumbly from his place on the floor by the corner of the room, a 'YES' already forming on his mouth but never leaving his lips because he was interrupted by Naruko.

"Why do you even look like that?" the whiskered male heard his female counterpart ask as she leaned with her front down a little, glaring at him with her sky blue eyes that looked like there was a raging storm in them at this moment.

Naruto blinked, having no idea what she meant by that.

"Huh?"

He saw Naruko roll her eyes at his response, her hands still planted against her alluring hips...

Dammit he was turning into an narcissistic pervert, what else was going to happen.

"I mean the whiskers on your face..." she pointed a finger at his beautiful mug, a frown tugging at the corner of her lips, "I know that you people don't really like me all that much and stuff... but don't you think that dying your hair like that, putting on some cheap makeup and then sneaking into my bed in the dead of the night and then GROPING ME isn't taking things just a little too far?" she pulled her hand back and looked at her fingernails idly, "I'm pretty sure that I can kill you now y'know, this _is_ a ninja village as much as you idiots can't seem to comprehend that..." she let her words trail off when she saw the blank look on the guy's face.

Naruto was left speechless for a moment. It took his head a few good seconds to formulate a response to that. "Uh... these aren't make up... Kaa-chan said that I was born with them and I'm pretty sure my kids will have them one day too!" he scratched his left cheek with a finger while smiling sheepishly, his eyes closed in a way that made him look like a fox.. or a cat... one or the other.

"Riii_iiight..._" Let's just say that 'looking skeptical' was too sarcastic a word for the look that appeared on her face and leave it at that.

"Hey, I'm telling the truth here!" Naruto said indignantly, his wounds were already healed and the bumps were gone.

"Fine! Let me see then..." was all that Naruko said to him in response. And before the male Naru could even try to object about her actions she was already upon him, somehow sitting on his lap and pulling roughly at his face with her delicate hands that weren't even calloused, stretching his birthmarks and cheeks far and wide very painfully.

Naruto yelped.

"OW! OW! OW! CUT IT OUT, cut it out, it hurts!"

His whiskers were VERY sensitive TO ANY FORM OF TOUCH and it hurt when they were abused like that.

Naruto looked at the pigtailed girl with a sour look on his face as Naruko let go of his face, her eyes wide open and her mouth hanging open.

"Holy shit you're right dattebane! They ARE real!"

Naruto comically sweat dropped when he heard his female counterpart say that despite his current predicament. '_Dattebane? That's Kaa-chan's thing, isn't it?' _He thought questioningly.

"..."

"!"

"..."

"?"

An awkward silence ensued.

After a while that really seemed like hours to Naruto, in which time the two versions of the same person across the multiverse just stared at each other, it was the girl who found a reason to speak up first. Naruto's mind was still short circuited at seeing his sexy jutsu form from the other side.

No wonder perverts lost to that technique.

"Who…" Naruko blinked and stopped in the middle of her words, not really sure what to make out this situation.

"Huh? Mind speaking up?" The blonde haired male prodded, he thought he had heard her say something...

"…Who are you?" Fem-Naru asked as she looked at him dead in the eyes while sitting on his lap, something that had, it would seem, escaped both of their notice still.

Naruto contemplated the question in his head as he thought about his answer and closed his eyes to focus, sensing to make sure that a) this wasn't a genjutsu and that b) she was 'him'. She frowned at him, she didn't like waiting for others and he could just be ignoring her now. The answer which she received afterwards wasn't one she could have ever dreamed off. Yet the simple, resigned tone that the man used, underlined with a note of honest bewilderment made her believe it right away.

"I think... I think I am you... in this world at least?" he said and offered the last part of the sentence unsurely.

Hey, he had just finished fighting a god through multiple dimensions before sealing her up in a moon with the help of his traitorous best friend, it can't be that far fetched.

Right?

The two Narus continued to stare into each other's eyes for a few more moments before Naruko shock her head violently as if to try and clear her thoughts from her head, her long pigtails flying from side to side whipping in the air.

"Um... In case you didn't notice I'm a girl... and you are very much a boy.." she said and smirked down at him slyly when she felt something hard poke her but, making the young Toad Sage blush like a ripe apple straight out of the orchards.

Naruko merely laughed at his reaction, the sound of her humor was like a fine melody to his ears, "See what I mean... and not only that but you look older too."

Now that she mentioned it, she did look a little younger then him. He had just turned 17 not even a day ago, but he would have to put her age at somewhere around 15.. maybe 16? She still looked like she had room to grow so it was probably 15.

"So... what are you doing here then 'male me'? Unless you wanted to molest me in my sleep?" The blonde haired bombshell frowned at him and Naruto had to suppress a smile while fighting off his hormones from doing something very stupid. This was seriously not the right time for him to get a tent in his pants.

So he tried to keep his mind off his problem.

"You are taking in all of this very calmly..."

Naruko shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly at him before sending a smirk his way.

Kami did she look sexy with that face.

Not the right time **and** definitely not the right girl!

"You get used to witnessing weird things happening in this village, after a time I guess I just grew immune to stuff like that." she finished and Naruto nodded emphatically at her words. Her childish face when thinking about these weird things banished nearly all of the previous grimness out of her mimic, making her look that much more cuter than vicious.

Had Naruko looked like that whenever he used it to mess with Pervy Sage? If so, he could never make fun of the man again. Anyway, it was his term to speak, right?

"Uhmm... well you see... I just, well… you know… urgh..."

"..?"

"One moment dattebayo!"

Naruko raised an eyebrow directly into her hairline at his specific... or more like nonspecific answer.

The female jinchuriki then giggled at his slip with the verbal tic, letting him continue doing whatever it was he was about to do just to see what would happen next, a small smile on her face.

**Naruto: World Gone Loco**

"Well... I don't honestly have a clue as to why am I here... unless you messed up a summoning jutsu or something." Naruto looked at the 'Orioke no Naruto' with a scrutinizing gaze as soon as he finished his sentence. He knew from experience that nearly half of the whacky things that had happened to him in the past were the result of his screw-ups in some way, shape or form beforehand.

"Hey!" Naruko shouted as she looked up at him with an affronted face, "I'll let you know that my summons don't take to kindly to people insulting them!" she looked way to smug saying that. Naruto offered her an innocent shrug of his own, so she did have the toads already... that's good, that's great.

It meant that they pretty much had the same pasts right?

"Well then, we should probably go talk to Baa-chan about this... see if she has any clue as to what's going on... that or Ero-sennin... maybe even Pa, that guy would know..." he said. Naruto tilted his head to the side quizzically when he saw her looking at him uncomfortably, a little envy now shining in her eyes.

"Um, who's this Baa-chan you're talking about?"

The Toad Sage blinked in surprise.

She saw him looking at her like she should know this already, and then he started to speak. "Baa-chan? Y' know, Tsunade Baa-chan! Uh... the Godaime Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, that old lady with a pair of monster sized knockers... the old drunk we forced into coming here to take the hat when she lost a bet..." he trailed off when he saw the clueless look on her face. Naruko looked at him weirdly.

"...Huh?" She really didn't look like she had any idea about what he's talking about.

Naruto didn't like the way things were going here, he didn't like the heading of his words at all.

He sighed, "Please tell me you know who I'm talking about?"

"Uhuh..." she made a no with her head, "I've never heard of this Tsunade lady, the current Hokage is the Old Man!" she smiled at him brightly at the mention of the Hokage, eyes sparkling. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief hearing that, so the Old Man was still the Hokage in this dimension after all. Hadn't Orochimaru attack the village in this dimension?

Though he did wonder.

If she looked like she was 15, why is Jiji still Hokage.

**Naruto: World Gone Loco**

Naruto did his best to ignore the strange looks he was getting from everyone as he walked through the village towards the Hokage Tower in the distance, while Naruko... who's real name is actually Naruko (who would have figured that one?) glared at everyone who tried to say something about her in her direction. So they still didn't think of her as a hero then, that must suck.

The two of them entered the Hokage Tower without much fuss. The female Naru wore her Konoha headband on her forehead while the male Naru lamented about the lack of his own, it having fallen of his head sometimes during the fight against Sasuke. Coincidentally, they wore pretty much the same clothes, only hers were a lot more provocative. Really... orange biker shorts, a mesh shirt that left her midriff bare and the jacket that was wholly unzipped really painted a wrong picture about her... at least he hoped it was a wrong picture.

They passed the nice secretary lady with Naruko waving a hand at her. The woman made a small shoo motion with her own hand and the two of them took that as a que to proceed forward, the woman going back to typing something on her keyboard.

They entered the office of the village leader with Naruko going in first, yelling out a loud "Hey Hebi-Ossan, look what dropped into my house!" in greeting as she bounced into the room and onto the first chair available. Naruto in the meantime got a very good look at the current Hokage sitting behind the mountain of paperwork and his face became devoid of all of its color.

Two things happened after that moment.

Orochimaru of the Sannin hissed out a string of curses that definitely weren't T rated as his paperwork took to the air and flew away with the new gust and breeze going through his office, escaping through the open window.

"NooOOOO! I just finished that!"

And Naruto fainted.

Orochimaru pursed his lips as he looked at the resident jinchuriki grinning like a loon while lounging in a chair before glancing down at the sprawled out teen on the floor.

"Naruko.." he sounded resigned. "What did you do now?"


	3. Çmendur

Uzumaki Naruko, the current jinchūriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and a chūnin of Konohagakure no Sato, looked at her village leader and supreme commander with a miffed expression written all over her pouting face. "Why does everyone always think that I'm the one to blame when weird things happen around here, heck even Naruto-kun here thought it was my fault he had appeared in my room?! It's not fair Ossan, I tell ya dattebane! It's not fair at ALL!" the girl with three pairs of whisker marks on her face huffed, pointing a lone thumb over her shoulder at the currently unconscious male Uzumaki specimen lying down on the floor of the Hokage's office.

It would seem that no one had bothered to pick him up yet.

Orochimaru didn't offer an answer to Naruko's question. He was busy looking away from his table and towards the open window, face blank as he watched his papers off in the far distance being carried away by the wind.

Naruko whined, she didn't like being ignored.

"Os_saaaaan_, what about Sensei or.. or perhaps Ko-kun, huh?! Those two cause just as much ruckus in the village as I do! Why don't you ever blame them, huh?! A girl just can't seem to get a break here, can she? Its not my fault I have horrible luck..." the blonde haired kunoichi of the Leaf argued as she looked at the pale skinned man. Orochimaru was dressed in traditional Hokage robes of white and red, minus the Hokage's pointed hat which was lying on the side of the table besides a number of scrolls, undisturbed and untouched.

She even threw her hands up into the air for added emphasis and looked at the snake summoner with her "Puppy Eyes no Jutsu" on full blast.

No man could deny her Puppy Eyes!

...besides her Hebi-Ossan.

Orochimaru deadpanned at Naruko, his eye twitching at irregular intervals and his slited eyes boring holes into the girl. The current reigning Hokage was using a lot of effort to hold back his murderous impulse. All that Orochimaru wanted to do right now was to jump over the desk and wring the Uzumaki's neck.

He thought about all of the signatures he will have to redo... all over again. Paperwork was a curse, a Kage's worst nightmare, an enemy that was worse then any kinjutsu in the world, he figured.

The Snake summoning Sannin had no intentions about dignifying the girl's words with a verbal response.

His stare currently directed at the young vixen who's point of existence seemed to be causing him migraines was all the answer that she needed.

"..."

"Ossan?"

"..."

"..Old man?"

"..."

A few minutes of uncomfortable staredown by her Hokage latter and Naruko had just about gathered enough of her wits to offer the older man a nervous laugh. Naruko rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, the small grin that was tugging at her lips betraying her thoughts. "Okay Hebi-Ossan, can you please stop doing that, its kinda freaking me out... HAHA... HAHAhaaa..." her sheepish laugh died away gradually when she saw that the pale skinned Hokage wasn't breaking his stare trained on her.

And then, the doors of the Hokage's office opened just as Naruto's presence started to slowly return to them.

Naruko looked over her should and released a breath of air that she didn't even know she was holding upon the sight of the new arrival.

"Hokage-sama, the T&I Division head needs you to take a look at these forms. If you have a few moments we ..could... um..." the girl trailed off into silence when she noticed the boy sprawled out on the floor.

**Naruto: World Gone Loco  
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Uzumaki Naruto, The Dead Last, The Number One Most Unpredictable Knucklehead Ninja, The Hero of the Leaf, The Toad Sage, The Child of Prophecy, The Savior of the World. Naruto had a lot of tittles under his name, some of them sounding totally awesome and some not so much, but he was proud of them all.

He was a proud idiot that was unpredictable and wily on the battlefield, something that had allowed him to survive his early years of being a ninja.

He was a former dead last turned strongest ninja in the village, a being on par with the original Sage of Six Paths.

He was the hero who had saved his village from Pein, convincing his fellow student that peace can be achieved.

He was the outcast who had befriended his curse and gained a new friend and a partner.

But there was one tittle that he wasn't particularly happy with.

The blonde haired _genin_ groaned lightly as he slowly opened his eyes.

Naruto was expecting the dark blue stormy sky of the battlefield to be the first thing he sees upon waking up, most likely pouring down rain and filled with flashes and arcs thunder. Right now, he was feeling a rather strange weight on his mind as his brain raced through all of his blurred memories, trying to sort out all of the wacky moments that he could remember from his dream.

It had to be a dream.

The first sight that greeted him upon the lifting of his eyelids were the familiar green does of his pink haired team-mate, who was looking down at him with a concerned frown on her face.

Naruto smiled at her gently and closed his eyes before he let a painful moan escape his throat. Damn his body still hurt... "Sakura-chan... man are you a sight for sore eyes or what!?" The blonde haired toad summoner was still feeling incredibly tired from all the fights in the war and he was sore all over his body for his troubles. Sure, he could now heal most wounds with or without the aid of Kurama's leftover chakra, but the fatigue was still one thing that he couldn't beat forever.

Not even him could stay juiced up for days on end, locked in mortal and immortal combat without some sort of backlash occurring.

"Huh?"

Naruto chuckled at her tone, allowing himself just a few more winks of sleep.

"You know, I just had this weirdest dream ever Sakura-chan. First thing I woke up in the same bed as a _female_ version of me.." he was cut off by the "Eh?!" sound coming from Sakura, but he ignored it for now, "...We talked for a little in her home.. ate breakfast and then guess what?... I find out that Orochimaru, OROCHIMARU of all people, is the Hokage. Now isn't that some funny shit or what?!" the young toad sage snickered at that as he ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair.

He sat up from the ground (which was strangely flat and not rocky), his eyes still closed as he recounted the events of his dream to his former crush before coming to a conclusion, "...Man, the Teme's last attack must have hit me pretty hard! I'm having crazy dreams again!" he chuckled again.

And then he was in for a shock.

"Um.. ano, who are you? What are you talking about?" hearing that tone come from her Naruto opened his eyes and looked at her oddly.

"What do you mean Sakura-chan, it's me... Naru-to..." his words died out as he took a better look at Sakura. Only now did he notice that there were small and not so small differences between this Sakura-chan and his own. For starters, this one wore a black and a dark red version of her regular outfit - black for red and red for white. She had her headband imprinted on a black elastic placed around her forehead and it actually seemed like her skin was slightly more paler then usual. Her pink hair was long again.

Oh, and her eyes were slatted like a snake's.

"GAH!" The blonde haired Uzumaki descendant leaped to his feet and looked around the office wildly, his eyes taking in information as fast as he could register. He took notice of the strange look that Sakura was giving him and the small smile on Naruko's whiskered face.

'_Oh no!'_

He looked at the Hokage's desk, now free of all those mountains of paperwork giving the occupants a perfect view of the village center. '_It can't be.. please tell me this is all a sick joke!'_

The visage of an amused Orochimaru stared back at him in equal measure, the Sannin's fingers intertwined in front of him.

Naruto blinked.

The Snake Sannin was still there... sitting IN the Hokage's office in the Hokage's chair... nobody else was freaking out about it and the Sannin was still radiating amusement as his snake like eyes zeroed in on him.

Naruto slapped himself before looking back at the table, expecting the strange genjutsu to wear off.

Nope, the traitorous Sannin was still there on Baa-chan's seat.

"Kai!" he tried dispelling it.

Nope...

Naruto ignored everyone else in the room as he ran up to the window at the side of the office and looked out of it, his gaze veering towards the Hokage Mountain Monument.

Shodaime Hokage - Senju Hashirama's face.

Check.

Nidaime Hokage - Senju Tobirama's face.

Check.

Sandaime Hokage - Jiji's face.

Check.

Yondaime Hokage - Orochimaru's face.

Not check.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Naruto made sure that his voice echoed his thoughts "WHAT THE FUCK?" as he turned around, alarm on his face.

**Naruto: World Gone Loco**

Orochimaru leaned forward on his desk and crossed his fingers over it, hiding the lower half of his face behind them and scrutinizing the strange blonde boy sitting before him, currently wiggling in his seat and looking to be just about ready to bolt at a moment's notice. The boy who looked eerily similar to his own personal migraine maker, what with the same general, round shape of their faces, the same color of hair and the same skin tone, not to mention those eye-catching whisker marks too.

Orochimaru knew that those whisker marks could only come from one source.

Naruto looked at the snake summoner, feeling some very mixed emotions about him; apprehension, fear, hate, scorn, gratitude and a small amount of terror. Oh sure he had fought and beat Kaguya in combat while she tried and did her best to wipe him off the face of the planet, but Orochimaru was still the stuff of his worst nightmares for a long, long time.

Even knowing now that he could just blast the man apart with an overpowered jutsu didn't manage to comfort his raised hackles.

Then again, the man did bring back the previous Hokages to help kick Madara's ass. Maybe he wasn't too bad. (Naruto does not know everything that happened during the war, he just knows that bam.. the Hokages appear out of the blue and there is only one person sides Kabuto that knew Edo Tensei.)

"Well, well, well..." Orochimaru's voice oiled over his ears like a subtle poison, "What do we have here, hmm?" the pale skinned man rose up from his chair and took a step around the desk... and Naruto was gone from his in a flash of yellow and black motion, now standing by the doors with his hands raised for defense.

Orochimaru simply looked at him with that same fucking amused face that he always wore.

"Ku Ku Ku, you are a jumpy one aren't you... Naruto-kun was it?" the Hokage looked at Naruko for confirmation and the girl nodded with her head exaggeratedly.

"Yep! The dude says his name is Uzumaki Naruto... he also says that he's _their _son.. though he did call his tou-san the Yondaime Hokage... weird.." the golden haired girl said and shrugged, tugging at one of her pigtails.

"Oh?"

"Now Orochimaru... you just.. you just stay right there where you are I'll be standing back here... and we won't be having a problem!" Naruto would have liked if his voice carried more confidence when he said that, but it didn't seem to be.

Seriously, Orochimaru freaked him the fuck out!

**AN: Any crazy ideas you guys have are welcome... they will let me write this fic that much longer.**

**Naruto fainting... Think of it like this... it was more of a shock then anything. Now please remember that Orochimaru had been the bogeyman of the ninja world for the better part of the series and we've seen that Naruto, when not fighting for his life, friends or village, gets freaked out by a lot of spooky things. Yamato's face is an example... **

**Now, if you think that seeing Orochimaru wearing Hokage robes and sitting in that chair without that sick grin on his face isn't spooky, then I sir believe you are brain inept.**


End file.
